View from the Cheap Seats is kind of an extension of the newsroom. Whenever our three regular reporters, Calvin Daniels, Thom Barker and Randy Brenzen are in the building together, it is frequently a site of heated debate. This week: Which fictional monsters, vampires, werewolves or zombies are the most terrifying?
No brainer
One of my favourite advertising campaigns of all time was the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention鈥檚 鈥淶ombie Apocalypse鈥� as a metaphor for disaster preparedness.
Zombies, the formerly human, brain-eating kind, are fictional, of course, as are werewolves and vampires. All three have achieved an extremely high level of popularity ever since motion pictures were invented.
It may seem the height of geekiness to ponder which is scariest, but if you look at them in terms of metaphor, it takes on a new
Authors and filmmakers of late have taken a lot of liberties with these creatures, but there are some general characteristics that prevail.
Vampires tend to represent a seductive sophistication tempered with a horrible need to consume blood, symbolic of excess and addiction. They are endemic among us, but for the most part inhabit a dark underworld preying only as the need requires.
Werewolves, on the other hand, are more metaphor for our untamed side, the primitive lizard brain. Again, they are endemic, but pose limited threat to humanity as a whole. Vampires and werewolves, therefore, are akin to something like ALS, horrible and debilitating for those affected, but affecting relatively few humans.
This is why zombies get my vote for the most terrifying. Zombies almost invariably represent our worst fear, a far-reaching and devastating plague akin to the apocalypse. They may be plodding and stupid in most manifestations, but by sheer number and single-mindedness, they are almost impossible to avoid and represent a threat to everyone left on the planet.
鈥� Thom Barker
Toss up
When you are something of a self-admitted geek, playing Dungeons & Dragons when you can, reading graphic novels regularly, loving the Hobbit movie trilogy, the argument over vampires, zombies, and werewolves is hardly new waters.
The topic was even delved into on the TV series Deadliest Warriors when they pitted vampires against zombie hordes via their battle computer simulation. As a series it leans toward 鈥榞eekdom鈥� at any time, and the particular episode was full of geek-fandom.
For the record the five vampires defeated a 100-plus zombies, but only one vampire was left standing, and right at the end they had him turning zombie, or maybe more correctly 鈥榸ompire鈥�. (For the record I didn鈥檛 make up that word either, others did it long ago).
As for vampires and werewolves, well the mythos has had them enemies for ages. The 鈥楿nderworld鈥� movie trilogy is one example of the two horror icons being at each other鈥檚 throats - literally.
Now who might win in an all-out war would be intriguing.
Vampires because they hold high intelligence would migrate away from zombie swarms and their heightened reflexes and strength would make picking off small groups of zombies and then disappearing a great tactic, although they would be relegated to feeding off animals in the end.
Werewolves would tear through zombies too, as long as they are the werewolves with intelligence. Purely feral they might get into battles they would lose.
And of course it depends if you imagine lumbering, slow zombies, or the speedy critters from 鈥榃orld War Z鈥�. Fast zombies wipe out everything, unless they turn into 鈥榸omsicles鈥� in a Canadian winter (and yes that word I think is my creation).
On a different track, if I was going to be a creature of the night, I would opt for becoming a lycanthrope, probably more a werebear than wolf though.
But no matter how you look at the creepy trio of critters, they would make the world a far more dangerous place if they were to live, although maybe not so much worse than what we humans already do to one another.
鈥� Calvin Daniels
Fangtastic
Werewolves, zombies or vampires.
All three are no doubt terrifying creatures, so to single out one of the three as the most terrifying of all is not something that is easily done.
While both the werewolf and zombie certainly have merit, it鈥檚 the vampire that is truly the most terrifying; or at least most terrifying for us in Saskatchewan.
Think about it. A werewolf is a creature that, for the most part, is just an average, everyday person who just so happens to turn into a big, hairy, hate filled creature every time the moon is full. Really, if you chain the werewolf person up prior to a full moon then nothing bad will happen.
Zombies, meanwhile, certainly are scary creatures. They feed on living humans and have a bite that eventually turns the victim into a zombie as well.
But we live in Saskatchewan. Six months of the year it鈥檚 frozen outside. Quite often exposes flesh will freeze within minutes.
Zombies are living corpses that have no blood flow. If they were to 鈥榸ombie around鈥� Saskatchewan in the winter they鈥檇 simply freeze solid and starve. In addition, our communities are few and far between so while they might succeed in wiping a few places out, they鈥檇 most likely starve to re-death before they reach another community.
But vampires? They鈥檙e nocturnal, preying on human beings at night. They鈥檙e also opportunistic. A vampire, unlike a zombie or werewolf, will single out a lone person and attack. Or they鈥檒l seduce their victim, lure them away and then gorge on their blood.
And then what happens? If they don鈥檛 kill their victim they either keep them around to feed on them or they turn them into a vampire.
Plus, they can turn into a bat. The other two can鈥檛 do that.
鈥� Randy Brenzen
